6 Recent Asherisms

letter-a-asher

  1. He was begging us to stay at a street dance after a rodeo.  I teased:  “Who are you wanting to dance with, anyway?”  He replied with complete, wide-eyed innocence:  “Do you need more than one person to dance?”
  2. We watched one too many infomercials and just had to buy one of those fancy copper nonstick skillets.  Asher approved as he gobbled my first attempt at fried eggs:  “Nice whites, Mom.”
  3. He asked me if I ever carry a gun with me.  I said no.  He said:  “But don’t you want to be a pistol-packin’ mama?”
  4. Out of the blue, he wondered if his dad and I had had a shotgun wedding.  I said:  “What do you know about shogun weddings, anyhow?”  He said:  “You know, pretty much the guy kisses the girl and they am out of there… well, maybe a little dancing.”
  5. Also out of the blue:  “Have you noticed how flies rub their little hands together?  Like they am thinking up something tricky?”
  6. And finally… one day he had started eating his sandwich even though Beau had told him several times to wait until everyone was at the table.  Around a mouthful of bologna he said:  “I was just so hungry.  Sorry it turned out that way for you, Dad.”
  7. And wait!  A bonus conversation that happened between Asher and Beau.  Asher:  “How do you like the house I drew, Dad?”  Beau:  “Wow, that looks really good.  I especially like the swimming pool there.”  Asher:  “That’s not a swimming pool.  It’s the septic tank.”

© His Laughing Mama

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